I haven’t blogged for awhile because I knew the next time I logged on, I’d want to talk about something that really hurt my heart and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Today I want to write on a different topic but feel I must at least say something about my beloved furry companion, Cassie. I can’t talk too much about it because it still hurts. She was a full bred Cocker Spaniel who lived to be 15 years. The first time she had cancer, we were able to remove it. She lasted almost another year before this last time which killed her. But the pain is in more of what I took into my own hands to do. Put her to sleep. I am never going to be able to get over it I know. It still pains me to this day I tool the power out of God’s hands and put it into my own but she was on her last breath. She wouldn’t have lived maybe a week more. She was in pain. And they told me (everyone) I needed to do it. So it’s done. Cassie’s ashes are sitting in a box beside my bed but I can’t bring myself to touch it. I guess it’s nice having her ashes with me but I just can’t touch it. So that’s why I haven’t blogged here in a long while. I haven’t been traveling much either. I want to but trying to find someone to go with me is harder to do being as my favorite person to go with me, my daughter, is going through classes to get her into the RN program and these aren’t easy classes either. So it’s short trips for now and in the Spring, I’ll start blogging about my travels.
So for now, and being as winter is starting to creep in, I’ll be talking about things that are happening in my life if that’s okay and I promise there will be travel talk along the way.
I’d like to now talk about a situation that’s going on where I work. Actually, it’s an establishment I have been working for the last sixteen years and although I do very well with my online business, I still stick it out there one day a week. I have long term friends there who some of them have been there longer than me and I do believe that’s the reason why I don’t jump ship. But we have a young guy – just turned 24 yesterday in fact – who used to work there and now has come back. He was living with his girlfriend but she threw him out. I didn’t find out why until yesterday – he was doing drugs and stole $200 from her. Okay, great reasons for throwing his ass out but…this is what drugs will do to you.
I’ll call him Ben. Now it seems Ben is living in the wooden thing surrounding the dumpster at work. One of my co-workers popped in on him before he woke up. She said he’s sleeping on a styrofoam something and has blankets piled over him. A bike with a flat tire is beside him. Ben is really a good looking guy. Straighten him up and he’d have girls coming out of the woodwork to be with him.
We’ve all discussed Ben, how bad we feel for him and that he needs someone to help him but the thing is, we’re all afraid he’s going to steal from us. He’s stealing from work and I know he’d steal from us, too. So what do you do? I mean, if anyone had a heart, I know I do, and it hurts me to know how cold it is outside and he’s sleeping outside. I mean, how long can he do this? He’s going to get sick and could even die. There is no family. No outreach program, no ministry thingee, nothing. No friends to take him in. Nothing.
So yesterday was his 24th birthday. A few days ago, the manager who knows what’s going on offered him to come to his house because it was going to get cold that night. Ben looked at him and said, “Are you asking me so we can hang out or are you asking me because you feel sorry for me?” The manager said, “I don’t want to hang out but I don’t want you to stay outside in the cold either.” Ben turned to him and said, “Well I’m sorry, I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me. Thank you anyway.”
So he’s proud. But the thing is…he’s doing drugs which could or could not be interfering with his thought process. He’s asked me if I had a room and I told him no. I have taken in people without homes before but this one you just can’t risk because you know he steals.
I’m not sure about his past. We do know he has a father who is a state trooper and a mother who lives in Ohio, not sure about the story on that, and not sure why he doesn’t swallow his pride, save up some money for a bus ticket and high tail it out of town before the really bad weather starts. There’s no calling his girlfriend for forgiveness because she has another boyfriend. He has no one. The few friends he has are drug dealers and us.
So what do you do you? I feel guilty in knowing I can’t do a damn thing for him. Money wouldn’t help him; he’d just spend it on more drugs. He asked me for a twenty the other day when I worked . I turned him down because frankly I didn’t bring any money with me but do you think I’d ever see it? He ended up getting the twenty from someone else and then you didn’t see him for awhile, then he came back and you know what he spent the money on.
So everyone where I work know about him and know they can’t take him in. And when it’s cold outside, I just feel so bad for him because one day he may not live to see the next day and as a human being, that’s hard to watch and hard not to help. I don’t know what’s going to happen with him.
I went looking for pictures to add to my blog post and this is what I found:
It just breaks your heart that America has gotten to this point. It makes you want to cry.